Great idea: Make a website that tells exactly your shade of eye color

I know so many girls who would go crazy for this. Like, the colors could be really weird like Seaweed green or shit brown 🙂

Anyway so today was boring, I didn’t do much else than apply for jobs.

Weird Dreams Last Night

1) I Know What You Did Last Summer style: I was with my mom and younger sister, and we were in the house and this crazy guy who was huge and ripped wanted to get in, and he did, and he threw a throwing star at me, and so I ran downstairs while he was in Dad’s bathroom, ran out the front door, and locked it behind me, but then he must have smashed through a window or something because it didn’t matter that I’d locked it behind me, anyway I was running and he was trying to catch me and he was a couple of paces behind me, and I knew he would murder me if he caught me, and then I made a sudden right into the area behind Mr. Dimarino’s house, saw him sitting on a lawn chair and was like “HELP HES GOING TO MURDER ME” but he didn’t care, so I kept running, wondering how I was outpacing this guy, and then I ran into a cop and somehow he grabbed me and ran with me and put me under his arm and so I was flying backwards and then I had a gun and I shot the pursuant what felt like 100 times, and I said, Jennifer Love Hewitt style, “Just. Fucking. Die.” As far as dreams go, I don’t think this one was so far out there.


2) Had sex with N from Japan a lot, always on the floor, don’t remember much else about this one other than the fact that I would SO do it in real life!


3) Had sex with R, or was about to. We were walking past this playground in China and there was the mulch all around on the outside of the building but the playground was inside the old abandoned building, although the walls had fallen off on the side closest to us and there was a bench just on the inside of this crumpled wall. There was a giant tube slide and normal playground equipment. I remember we sat on the bench and I was laying down but my feet were hanging off so I could still see him while he was sitting there. And we were talking, he was as usual more knowledgeable about things, why do men love mansplaining so much? Keen is the same way. I can’t believe in my dreams I end up feeling stupid and uninformed about the world. Anyway then I remember he kind of moved as if to be on top of me and I remembered how he cheated on his girlfriend with me last summer when I didn’t know. And here’s the kicker, I realized I didn’t care, and then I woke up.


What I think Dream 1 represents: Probably the man represents my future, if I don’t manage to find a job like, now. The world is coming after me and all I’m doing is running like a big coward. But at least in the end I win, and I SLAM BULLETS INTO HIS MOTHERFUCKING BODY AHAHAHA. Ahem.

Dream 2: I dunno, I’ve just been thinking about that guy a lot I guess. So attractive.

Dream 3: Reminiscing about that summer? I don’t think that’s the word I want. Anyway I’ve been thinking a lot about the Fourth of July weekend and I realized that as much as I tell myself it bothers me that he cheated on D, I also know that if the opportunity came up, I wouldn’t say no because of that and only that. I used to have such huge morals, saying no would have been easy then. But now it’s like, I can’t stop. I have no more self-worth. I just take whatever I can get from whoever I can get it from. I hate it. I hate how I’ve devolved into this useless person with no motivation.

I think the same thing happened to K, to be honest. She was always getting the good grades because she’d never done it any other way. She wanted to please her nutso mother and live up to her snobby old brother’s example. And now she’s depressed and in such a giant hole that she can no longer control her weight nor her mood swings, and she’s no longer any fun to be with. I feel bad that I never really liked her so much to begin with. Maybe if I cared more, I would know how to help her. She says the depression started with mono, but I think that it was probably brewing for years, mostly because of her mother.

Her mother, after all, blamed my dad for feeding Kathryn too much breakfast those couple of times. I admit, it was probably annoying, and my dad definitely has a problem knowing whether or not people feel comfortable saying no to him. But insinuating that my father is the reason for your daughter’s weight problem when she only sleeps over like, 4 times a year? That woman is a psycho bitch. I knew a lot of West students who saw this and hated her because of it.

As for my own weight? Substituting all sugar for Doritos has had the surprising effect of letting me shed a couple pounds. I don’t have a 体重器 so I can’t say for certain, but I definitely do feel lighter. Yay. Maybe now all the Asian men in my life can STFU.


Time is winding down

So Valentine’s Day was yesterday. I made up my mind not to be the one to text him first time (since, unusual for me, I’ve actually been making the move to text him first almost all the time). So then at 6:00pm, he texts me and asks what I did all day. I’d been feeling antsy and was at Sanlitun Village, so I told him to meet me at the Starbucks.

He’d just been getting off work and so not only was it rush hour but it was also a holiday that Chinese people love, so he didn’t arrive until around 7. Anyway, so I met him and gave him a hug (I’m almost at the point where I feel comfortable kissing him as soon as I see him) and he hadn’t eaten so we went to Oriental Taste or something like that since he doesn’t like American food…sigh. Anyway we went there and I’d made up my mind not to eat dinner that day but I ended up eating a lot anyway. I felt gassy after :P.

He really is so interested in American culture. He remembered that I’d been uncomfortable with just putting the bones on the table after you’ve chewed off the meat like a wild animal in the Chinese way, and asked if that was impolite in America, to which I answered “duh”. So then he started putting his bones on the plate like me, to “practice”. His English is really pretty good too. He’s told me a lot of interesting things about China. Like how the government doesn’t report on Taiwanese people of note, like the basketball star Jeremy Lin. He told me that there is but one sentence dedicated to the horror that was the Cultural Revolution in Chinese history textbooks: “Due to mismanagement, the Cultural Revolution was an epic flop”, because the government is too afraid of its peoples’ reaction should they know the truth. Sometimes I mess with him though. I tell him Americans like to swear in every sentence. 😛

Anyway so he is leaving on Hong Kong for another sales trip the day after Valentine’s Day, and his trip is at 8:10 in the morning. But he still invites me back to his place and so we go back and I help him back and sleep over and ladedah. At the crack of 5:30 AM he wakes me up and I try to prevent him from getting out of bed…although we have to go at some point so eventually we get out there and BAM, no taxis anywhere. It’s about 7 in the morning by the time he decides he would rather 上地铁, giving him less than an hour to get to the airport to make his flight. I feel kinda bad for some reason, like it’s my fault, but he reassures me that he can change the flight, it will just be a 麻烦. Anyway so I get off at 团结湖 and then at 8 AM he texts me that miraculously he made his flight with 3 minutes to go. I joking texted him to have fun and not to go picking up any other women in the Hong Kong airport…at which point he called me a “naughty girl” (lol, I don’t get it…) anyway so I told him to call me when he gets back. I think I’m getting better at this romance thing, being less of an uncaring frosty bitch. Man, if I could go back to when I was dating Rob, I would’ve treated him a lot differently. How could I have been so indifferent to everything all the time? What did he see in me?

Anyway…counting down the days to leaving. I’m so torn. I’m very comfortable here. I can survive on my money for as long as I need to find a job, definitely. I have a quasi-boyfriend who I actually find attractive. I have a nice place to live that is near good places to shop and hang out.

It’s just that I do have to agree that considering that I went and got an Ivy-League degree, the opportunity cost of staying in China is very great. Also, I really want to be able to go to May graduation. I want to see my CAPS friends, the old high rise crowd, Steven, Leo, everyone who I used to love.

Those two reasons are the only reason I’m listening and coming home. I mean, excluding Dad’s horrible accident.

Anyway next Friday I leave. I’m seeing Kurt this Friday night for drinks. (He texted me about it when me and Keen were in the middle of things hehe). I still have to tell Keen that I’m leaving. Hopefully I won’t be leaving permanently. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t care that much. I still have no idea if we’re even exclusive or not.

Plus…where would I ever find another tall attractive well-spoken intelligent Asian man than by this chance meeting? Did I mention he thinks he is as handsome and as great of an orator as Obama? That might be a bit of stretch, but I must say he really has a drive to succeed, and the confidence to pull it off. Although he doesn’t know how old he is, and I don’t know how to tell him that. He’s sure that he’s 25, but he was born in ’87 which means he’s only 24. He messed up further by saying that on the lunar calendar he will be 26. Still wrong. Sigh.

I also have to tell my roommate I’m leaving. God. I hope I don’t end up screwing her over out of this contract that I signed with her.

I love China. I don’t want to leave…

So now life goes back to normal?

February 8, 2012

So yesterday I was chilling all day after talking to Dad on AIM a little while and then got a text from Keen who was like, hey want to have dinner? Unfortunately I was waiting for the crepe people to finish my crepe in the Village (also thankfully I caught them trying to take 30 bucks from me, since I paid them with a fifty, so that means I probably won’t be going back there).

So anyway I told Keen 7:30 and went over then but it turned out he wasn’t done eating his hotpot then (I don’t get it, I told him 7:30…) and since it was so effing cold I went into the nearest 超市. Literally EVERYONE stared at me. It was so uncomfortable. It was like being in rural China. I was so uncomfortable.

Anyway so finally close to 8 Keen calls me and comes right to the chaoshi to get me and I try to get mad at him but I utterly fail. Anyway so we walk back to his apartment and we watch some TV and then we do it (it’s pretty good this time, first me on top and then from behind, which was nice). And then kind of cuddle the rest of the night.

February 9-13

So I really haven’t been on this as much as I said I would. I’m trying to think of what happened the past few days. I talked to both Chris and Kevin on skype, which was cool. I miss them. I’ve been eating a lot of McDonalds, since ever since I’ve been going out to eat with Keen I’ve been realizing that it’s pretty much impossible to continue to subsist on pocky, sushi, and buttered rice. So I tried their double-patty with bacon and potato salad and it was pretty good, I thought the potato salad would overpower everything but it didn’t, not after the first couple of bites.

I’m so hungry right now. Keen thinks I’m fat. Well he thinks I should be skinnier anyway. I think Asian boyfriends are likely the world’s most factor in the development of eating disorders. Marshall was always like that too. Hanh says her boyfriend even takes away M&Ms from her when he thinks she’s going to eat too many.

Anyway, screw Asian men! Keen and I aren’t even going out, and honestly, we really have no future. I saw him on Saturday and we watched the first part of Breaking Dawn and also Final Destination 5 (I actually enjoyed it a lot). It was nice, we went out to get 拉面 and such and just talk about our pasts. He’s so curious about America.

He has some pretty ingrained Chinese habits though. When we eat meat with bones it, like at that 香锅 place, he just spits the bones out on the table. I always spit them in a napkin. He also says things like how I could never be in sales, because it’s ‘men’s work’ which is annoying. I’ve seen him what, 6 or 7 times and there have been a couple instances of sexism…but on the whole, I do like being around him.

Anyway I say we have no future because Dad got into a horrible car accident 8 days ago. AND TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO. He’s such a jerk, always thinking he’s Indiana Jones and how awesome it would be if he can just depend on himself. It’s hugely selfish. Anyway, the car that hit him head on was going 80 in a 30 zone around a blind curve, and Dad had no time to react. So then the car BEHIND Dad smashed into him. Dad got sandwiched. Smashed. Whatever you want to call it. The policeman said he couldn’t believe that Dad just climbed out of the wreck. Oh by the way, it was the Mercedes, Mr. B’s car, so now everyone’s insurance has to be involved. This is on top of the fact that Dad now has to go to PT three times a week and take muscle relaxant pills. He can’t move his neck and he walks funny. Just writing it makes me want to cry.

Anyway, the point is I’m coming home. On the 24th, I’m coming home to America. I want to help take care of him, and honestly, I think it’s time to stop being immature and wasting my life away in China. I love China. But I have to admit, there are a lot of pollution problems that might come back to haunt me later, and

Oh fuck it. I don’t want to leave China. I love being in a place where Dad can’t bother me. That’s the single best part of being here, only having to talk to Dad when I want to. I have had some great experiences. Going to Japan and getting deported to Hong Kong remains the best week of my life.

Anyway. I’m going home to talk to Jennifer and also Jose’s friend. If not, I can always get a ticket back, right?

I haven’t mentioned it to Keen, but honestly, I don’t think he’ll care that much. I’m usually the one to text him first anyway.

I’m going to try to see him tomorrow though. It’s Valentine’s Day 🙂

China A.D. (After Deportation) 2/4-2/6

February 4

OMG!! So I bought a new phone and I believe it can plug into the computer! I bought it for 380 yuan, the cheapest one they had. They sold me a bad sim card so I had to buy another one at the 报亭, or newsstand. They were assholes at Carrefour. Completely inhospitable. In any case, I went to the 报亭 to get the new thing and everyone said how pretty I was, and how much they like Americans. I tell you, Chinese men are just the friendliest people in the world.

Anyway so I wanted to get the phone so bad so I could text Keen and find out what the hell happened. I did and then he texted me back, forwarding me his phone message that said this: Hi, I am not sure where are u now, I landed in Terminal 2 and wait half an hour for the bus and come to T3 on 00:30, unfortunately u landed on 00:06 as showed, then I wait another hour to now 1:30, but still cannot see you, I also called u 15 times but power off, really cannot 不见不散了, Goodnight, I am leaving”


So I called him and now I’m waiting for a call back. He said he will. I can’t wait. This could really be something special.


So he called me back and said that we should get together and go out to eat. I said fine and he said he would come to Sanlitun. I picked him up at the Tuanjiehu station. We then walked down to the village and I wanted to go to Starbucks but it was crowded so we went walking elsewhere. Keen said that he likes how fast I walk and that I keep up with him. Anyway we went into Costa coffee down the back of the village. I got a tiny freaking expresso shot in a little baby mug and he got a latte. It was awkward lol. Anyway so he really likes to talk about politics and the difference between America and China and so we talked about that. He told me how the Dalai Lama is considered a criminal in China, and how he wishes that he could see the same amount of corporate rise in China as he does in America. He still hasn’t really told me what exactly it is that he does, but he’s 25 years old and he seems to be doing fairly well for himself. He also asked what sort of clubs I like to go to and I said Mix, Vicks, and that one 同志巴, and he was like WHAT?? You’re not a lesbian right? And I was like no. And so then he said that he gets hit on by men a lot and that people think he’s gay. But I don’t think so.

In any case, we went to Costa and then we walked around the shopping mall thing that it is inside and I tried on one of those fur ruffs which was nice. He offered to buy it for me, typical Chinese guy, but I refused. Seriously Chinese guys are SO keqi. Anyway after that we debated about going to eat somewhere, I said I like 川菜 (WHY did I say that???) and so we went to a Hunan food place and we ordered this ma la chicken dish as well as a vegetable and a large soup. All of it was spicy but there was a point when eating that chicken dish when I was pretty sure I was going to die. Otherwise though it really tasted good! And so then we were talking, switching from English to Chinese (his English is probably even better than my Chinese, seriously, it’s impressive because one of his majors was English in college) and then we were talking. I mentioned that I couldn’t go out to a club or bar really late with him because I’m taking the Foreign Service Officer test tomorrow for the first time and need to get my sleep (especially since what with vacationing to Japan and getting deported to Hong Kong I haven’t studied at ALL) and so he was like D: and I was like L and he was like well, let’s just go for a while. By this point we’ve each had like three beers and I’m feeling it, and I think he is a little bit too, because in lulls in the conversation we just LOOK at each other and our eyes meet and it’s electric.

We leave the place, he pays, and we go down to the street behind Sanlitun that 3 Rock the bar is on. I choose a bar at random and going inside it turns out to be a mostly-naked-girl dance club. The two girls are touching each other on stage and we watch a while. He buys me and himself a beer for 200 kuai. Unbelievable prices. So then the girls stop and this stupid singer comes out, a band, they’re not that good but I guess the strippers have to take a break or something. In any case, while they’re singing, I forget what he says to me exactly but he turns his head to kiss me and I go for it and I kiss him and we start making out. Right there in the club. I kind of smash his head to mind because I just really WANT it, maybe it’s the beer, maybe it’s because I find him attractive, I dunno, anyway we make out for probably like 5-6 minutes and then he’s like, let’s get out of here.

And I’m like OK. Fuck the FSOT and all.

So we grab a cab and I kind of kiss him in the taxi although I think he wants to respect the driver and just grabs my hand instead. We drive to Jinsong at the end of line 10 and enter the gate to his apartment. I take off my coat, he takes off his, and then in the living room I reach up around his shoulders and grab him and kiss him again, and he whispers against my mouth “I want to fuck you”

And so then he walks me into his bedroom and I’m like unbuttoning his button-down shirt and he takes off my shirt and suddenly we’re naked and its incredible and I’m just feeling him, amazed how skinny he is, he probably weighs less than I do and hes 183 cm, and so I push him down on the bed and I’m like kissing him some more and then he grabs me and flips me over and grabs a condom from over on his nightstand. Im oddly reminded of Josh, how he did the same thing but I was like NO since I wasn’t a virgin then. I marvel now how I don’t mind. I kind of watch him put it on and he grabs me and pulls me inward and then I feel him go in.

Ive been wanting sex for so freaking long and I have to say that it wasn’t exactly a letdown this first time, but I hardly even felt it. It was so weird. I knew he was in there but I didn’t feel like he was really in there. I haven’t had sex since Marshall the day after Christmas of 2011 and I gotta say it just felt DIFFERENT before.

Anyway so he does that and my head kind of rams into the headboard of his bed and then he finishes and pulls out and the condom’s still inside me and I pull it out and we kind of just lay there for a moment. He asks if I want a shower. I’m like sure. So I go take one and use his towel and then he takes one, and I’m almost starting to feel awkward so I do that thing where I act really happy and excited about everything to alleviate it and then we come back. He puts on “peacock” by Katy Perry. Lol. Anyway so I put on my clothes and get ready to leave but then he’s like, its ok, your test is really close, you can 在这里过夜, and I’m like ohh…ok. So then I undress again and we go and lie down again and I’m just kind of caressing him and then before I know it we’re doing it again and it’s a lot better this time. I like the way he kisses here. Then we flop down again and laugh about having just showered and then after we kind of go to sleep and we’re like cuddling and stuff and then go to sleep. We both set our alarms for 6 so that I can have more than enough time to get to my test at 8:30am at the embassy at Liangmaqiao, and go to sleep. I wake up multiple times since it’s so hot in his room at night for some reason. The alarm goes off at 6 and I’m like half dead but suddenly he’s on me and we do it AGAIN, which was good to wake me up, although somehow we both go back to sleep right after and I wake up at 7:20 and thankfully still have enough time to catch a cab out and go take the test.


February 5

I took the test. They took my passport and camera and phone and anything else electronic and took us to a computer room. You have until 11:30 but I finish at 10:30. I come back and go to sleep since I hardly slept the last night with Keen. But he texts me and tells me that he wants me to come to JInsong and he’ll meet me. I say I’ll go at four. I walk out wearing tight black heels but double back for some flats because I just can’t stand the pinching. Anyway so I walk out there and he meets me at the subway after telling me to “go east” which isn’t enough information for me. We go directly to his apartment and fuck some, and then we go to sleep and wake up at 7. I wake up and then he’s like, Can you cook? And in my head I’m like fuck but then I just say, I can cook with American ingredients figuring that he doesn’t have any of those. So thankfully he makes food and it’s really good, he uses pork and bok choy and puts it together with soy sauce and salt, and then slices up potatoes into really long thin pieces and goes over and then it’s totally good with soy sauce and salt and garlic. He’s fairly talented actually. I do that thing where you hug the person that’s cooking from behind, and again, I’m completely amazed at how EMACIATED he is. I do find him really attractive, and like the fact that he’s a DOER, like so many Chinese men are NOT, but man, the man needs to EAT more. He likes to eat oreos for breakfast but otherwise doesn’t do much in that sense. So we eat and then we watch TV, even that Hunan TV show where the guy chooses which girl he likes and she chooses him back that we watched in the one Duan Hong class. We cuddle the whole time and then he accuses me of not watching the TV and so I turn around and I start kissing him, and then we do it on the couch and this time it’s actually like really good. I enjoy it. And then we kind of just chill and spread out and watch more TV, and he continues to talk about politics and other stuff (it seems like he’s very smart, overall) and I tell him about life in America.

Then we go to bed finally because we both have work tomorrow. We sleep in each other’s arms again but once again I keep waking up because it’s just so damn HOT! Anyway we wake up at like 8:30 the next morning and do it again (I think we’re up to 6 times now), and then we stop.

But there are weird things. For one thing, he really doesn’t last very long. With Marshall my vag would hurt for like a while and my inner thighs would be really sore. Not so with this guy, since it literally only takes about 5 minutes or so…maybe more, maybe I’m just not judging it properly. But it doesn’t feel like very long. Also, I feel like he doesn’t get that hard for some reason. And I STILL don’t get wet. I have to use spit all the time with myself, and I forgot the first couple of times so like my vag felt kinda raw. Also I’m no judge of dicks but I think his is pretty small. Just saying. And I know he’s Asian but like…man, Marshall was a lot better in bed and he was Chinese too.

I guess I just feel like this fling isn’t really quenching the sex thirst that I’ve been feeling for a while. Although I enjoy the company and this guy is definitely better looking than Marshall.

But other than the sex, he’s not bad. I think I just really like how tall he is, and he’s Asian, and I think he’s good looking. Attractive men never seem to like me, but this one does. Oh yeah, and Hanh thinks he looks super gay. Which is funny since he told me that one time a 同志 hit on him because that guy also thought he was gay. I didn’t notice before, but I guess he SORT of dresses gay? Oh God.


February 6

So his looks are not a problem. Maybe the fact that we have nothing to say to each other / not have much sexual promise will be. I don’t know. I’m going to enjoy this for what it’s worth now. It’s nice not to be lonely. And he really is quite good looking.

I just texted him that I miss him. I feel SO WEIRD when I say stuff like that. Why am I so bad at being affectionate? It’s driving me crazy that he’s not obsessed with me, I think.

I didn’t go to work like Premy told me to. It just occurred to me that maybe I don’t feel like teaching a bunch of screaming children.

Also I friended him yesterday on Facebook and it says he is interested in men and women. This wouldn’t matter to me except I had taken him for a homophobe…maybe he thinks that that kind of question just means what gender you are interested in befriending? I don’t know…plus it’s so weird that Hanh thinks he’s gay…

Anyway so yeah I texted him that I miss him and he commented on my photo that he likes it. I dunno. He’s not super affectionate either. I might actually have to try.

Hong Kong: 2/1 – 2/3

February 1

So now I’m in Hong Kong. Because I arrived at 11pm, I decided to buy a hotel through the airport service, although as I suspected, all the choices were highly expensive. I hate this hotel. It is 113 USD a night and I’m only here for one night and I also have to pay like 20 HKD for internet for an HOUR. AHIGHAIGHAIGHA Anyway I called up this guy named Kinson on couchsurfing and I’m going to meet him at Chinese University of Hong Kong. And live with him there. Interesting, living in a dorm with a strange boy.

I was walking down the street and two men laughed and said “San ba!” and then the other “Bai ren!” Does samba mean bitch in Cantonese like it does in Mandarin? It was weird because I heard it again in the elevator. Why do people already think I’m a san-ba? Wtf?

I also hate the hotel because there are $40 bottles of water sitting there that you can’t even drink, but the tap water is okay to drink here (I think so anyway). It’s unbelievable.  I don’t have shampoo or conditioner, there is a $45 charge PER LOCAL CALL WHAT THE HELL MAN and there is a telephone in the bathroom too? This was the cheapest hotel the airport had but man counting all the extra charges it’s not cheap at all!


February 2

So the hotel is located in Tsim Sha Tsui, across the water from Hong Kong Island. It seems to be a fairly active district. There is a 7-11 literally every four feet. Like, four shops away from each other. It’s insane. Kinson told me that I could buy a phone card for my phone so that it would work in Hong Kong, and that it is available at 7-11, but I haven’t managed to find a person who understands my sim card company. Anyway. So I wandered around all day and ended up FINALLY reaching Kinson on a pay phone and he called and told me to meet him at the University, after I’d been asking a large variety of people in Mandarin and English if I could borrow their phones or if they knew where the 公用电话 was. I also went to the visa office, after stepping into a photo booth to get the appropriate visa pictures. Why do visa applications always ask for another picture of you? You never even see it again and you have to go in person so it’s not like they need to know what you look like, not to mention the fact that your passport already has a picture. Whatever. Anyway so many metro stations have these photo booths (it seems like Hong Kong is a hub for people needing visas, not just for people from America or going to China, but anywhere and everywhere). The photo booths also have fun options to take cute photos with your friends I guess, but I had no time for that. I had to make it to the visa office right at two when it opens because after reading some blogs, I’ve heard that the line can get very crazy.

Anyway so I went to the visa office, waited in line until it opened at 2, and went in and applied for a visa. They gave us the application while we were waiting outside in the line. Hong Kong climate is very temperate, I like it a lot. This is in addition to the fact that both Beijing and Tokyo were freaking cold, although I have to say that Beijing was the worst.



I went to the place and was stressing about it in the line (I got there like 40 minutes early and I still wasn’t even close to being the first one there) and when they gave me the visa application I was freaking out again because there was all sorts of information that I didn’t know, like what my insurance account number is and what my Chinese address is, and then it asked if I had ever been refused at the gate for China (FUCK!), but when I finally got in, up the elevator and through the metal detector, the lady was so nice. She asked me what the circumstances were in which I got barred from entry and I don’t think she even read my responses at all (like for example I just put down numbers for the insurance question, since I figured the odds of them looking up the account number was pretty slim) and then I THINK she said that she was giving me a SIX MONTH L-visa. Unfuckingbelievable. I even said on the app that I was only going to stay 45 days. Incredible. I love that woman. I was so happy I could have shattered that bulletproof glass and hugged her.

Anyway so I got it, but I got the one day rush service so I can only pick it up tomorrow at 3 (although I’m so going to go early, right at 2, because they probably won’t check that either).


Now that I have my visa, my fun in Hong Kong can actually begin.

I took the subway out to the university to meet Kinson, and so I was just sitting there waiting for him not really sure what he looks like, but figuring that I stand out enough for others to see. So then this weird, tragically ugly man comes up to me, he looks like he is a student, and asks me what time it is but clearly just wants to talk to me. Anyway so then he sits down and offers to take me to a pay phone in a nearby building. I grudgingly go along even though I think it would be better to just sit and wait for Kinson. Anyway so we went to this building up this weird winding trail near the basketball court that goes up a hill, and Mr. Creepy, whose name is Kevin, keeps saying how sassy I am. So anyway I get to the phone and call Kinson but he says to jump on a bus and come see him. I get kind of annoyed that he’s jerking me around and just decide to go back. On the way back from the building to the sidewalk, the guy stops me in a stairwell and goes all ISNT THIS ROMANTIC?? And I’m freaked out and just keep walking, even though he keeps following me. I briefly decide to go on the bus to see Kinson, but then ugly boy decides to follow me on and then I truly decide that it is just not worth it. Oh yeah, before the bus ugly guy kept touching my hair and just being generally weird and thinking that he is highly more desirable than he actually is. He asked for my email and all and so I just ran off the bus.

So then I took the train back a couple stops and then got out and took the bus to a random place and just got out, hoping I would find a hotel, but all it was was rows and rows of home renovations stores. All lined up, it was so weird. So I kept trying to call cabs but a lot ignored me, I guess because I am foreign and they assumed I don’t speak Chinese. Anyway I FINALLY got a cab back and just told him to take me to Tsim Sha Tsui, thinking that if I couldn’t find any place I could just go back to that shitty hotel and spend like all of my money. So I’m walking and my feet are hurting and then this SUPER short Indian guy comes up to me trying to sell me a watch. I smile and say no and then he’s like, where are you staying? You can stay with me. And I’m like LOL um fuck that. And then he’s like here, I’ll help you find a cheap place. And I’m like, really not going to say no to THAT. So he takes me a couple feet away to what is called the Garden Hostel and I end up paying on $400 HKD for one night. The room itself is pretty nice, it has 2 double beds and jeez, it even has shampoo and conditioner provided! (I get so pissed at that old hotel again, here I am paying half and I still get more). Anyway I use the hotel phone to call Nik again since I figure you know, why not, now that I’m not seeing Kinson I want to go out and do something so I might as well call (that is so weird, there are so many Indian people named Nik in my life suddenly).

So I called him and he came up at the first thing I noticed that his eyes were bloodshot. He kept offering me crack cocaine or weed the whole time. Not sure why I keep hanging out with him. Probably because he had a phone and I feel like I owe him. But he’s an idiot, that’s for sure. Anyway he took me to look at Star Street or whatever and we looked over at the buildings and he keeps freaking coming on to me and I just ignore it. He takes me to eat something and pays for me. I tell you, it is good to be a white girl in Asia.

Then I came back to rest a while before going out with him. Nik really thinks I’m going to smoke crack with him later, but no way. I go back with the intention of not really seeing him again, but then suddenly I see my inbox is a message from Kinson, asking where I am and that he’s waiting for me. I feel kinda bad and so I message him back and we decide to meet up at La Jardin bar in Central, on Hong Kong Island. I agree and so then I call Nik and ask him to go with me. When he finds out that I’m meeting a boy he says he doesn’t want to go, but then he ends up going anyway. Also his Indian friend Tarique goes, Tarry for short. He reminds me of Jes, he talks too much about stuff no one cares about, but he’s a nice guy. They’re both pretty awkward, really.

Anyway so the three of us go to Central and then we smoke a little while and then we go up to Azure, a rooftop bar that is on the 29th floor. The view is incredible. I give Kinson Nik’s number and so he eventually calls and he comes up eventually. My first impression is that he’s really good looking. So we go out and then into another bar where Kinson wants to meet some other couchsurfers with me, but he can’t really recognize any of them since they are all online friends. At this bar there is an opportunity to dance but we just don’t really have it. I talk to this big nice guy from Australia and he seems really sweet. Anyway Kinson and Tarry disappear and then me and Tarry and Nik all go to McDonalds because they are hungry. Tarry literally does a line of crack in the bathroom. Then they do some more outside of a bar later. I keep refusing. I just won’t do hard drugs. I find out later that Nik was ignoring Kinson’s calls. I’m so fucking pissed about that. I ended up talking to them in McDonalds until 9:30 when I could’ve been out partying. Well lesson learned. Next time I’m just going to do whatever the fuck I want and just leave regardless.

Anyway I go home with Tarry and Nik stays behind, probably to do more drugs.


February 3

So I wake up early and leave in time to check out by 12, and get my 100 HKD deposit back. I head over the Wan Chai at the visa place, get there really early, and relax in the Starbucks. The staff remembers me, which is really nice. J I really hurt my knee while climbing the stairs to get to the subway to Wan Chai before so I just relax and wait for the place to open. At about 1:20, I head over to the Chinese Resources Center, and get in line again, but this time in the pickup line.

I was really proud of myself because I knew I needed to withdraw money in order to pay the $1400 HKD fee (visa free + rush service) to get my visa, and I was really happy that I noticed the bank of China yesterday in that row of banks in the Sung Keng Lam center (sp?).


Successfully picked it up at 2! Took train directly to airport (another $100 HKD! Why is everything so fucking EXPENSIVE???) and went to buy my ticket directly. I got the 8 oclock flight to Beijing and was happy, and so by this point my feet are absolutely murdering me and I just sit. Then this really tall hot Chinese guy passes and he sits down next to me and talks to me, after I flash him a smile after seeing him staring at me a couple times. He said he would wait for me but he didn’t. He promised 不见不散and everything. I hate men. My phone is busted and I’m a buying a new, non-shitty one today at Carrefour. And I’m going to pay attention to that damn sim card this time and trust it when it says it’s going to blow up after I enter the wrong PUK code ten times.

Note: Kinson said that Nik never returned his calls. That asshole was jealous from the start that I had another male friend, freaking gross. Can’t even stand it. I called Nik from the airport to say thanks and take his email, but like hell am I calling him back ever again now.

I bought that Sex and the City drink, it was pretty good, carbonated nad fruit. I wanna go back to Hong Kong already.

Anyway so I’m like really pissed and accuse one of those big white vans of being a 黑车when he shows me his credentials that he is in fact a registered cab driver. Anyway I get home for about 200 kuai and then leaves and I get back into my house. Pixy has locked the door from the inside and I have to bang on it to wake her up, which I feel bad about, but thank god I get back safe. I throw down my stuff and go to sleep.


Deportation: 1/31-2/1

January 31

The first horror was that I missed my MOTHERFUCKING FLIGHT.

I’m sitting here in the Narita airport actually writing this, wondering why the fuck it took 2 and a half hours to get out here and I didn’t even make the flight. I’m so pissed. I just emailed the ESL place and thankfully I don’t have to come in until Thursday, because the only flight to China now is at 10:30AM tomorrow. I’m not going to sleep. I’m not missing another one. I’m going to stay up all night in the airport. They were nice enough not to charge me for the change even though I guess it’s technically my fault, but goddamn it I thought two and a half FUCKING HOURS WOULD BE ENOUGH. GUESS NOT. Waiting for those damn trains to JUST SIT AT THE STOPS for TEN MINUTES at a time was the most maddening thing I have ever experienced. Hello sleepless night. Again. Only not doing anything fun.

Signing off. Too mad to keep writing.

Update: I slept on a horrible bench with one arm rest marking one third of the thing unable to stretch out upon. It was horrible. I ate a whole pizza by myself like a loser. I was shepherded into the place with all the other people staying overnight and guards watched us the whole time. Is Japanese security extremely tight or is it that way in all airports? I don’t know. Anyway so I didn’t sleep and then at 7 AM I went to the kiosk and thankfully my ticket was printed out and then I went through customs and the fuckers took my TOOTHPASTE this time, saying that it was more than 100g. you know what I think? FUCK THEM ALL.

The Japanese ladies at the gate kind of gave me a hard time as well, because they didn’t think my visa was valid even though I convinced them as I have convinced everyone else that it IS in fact still valid. I am so persuasive.


February 1

This is what I wrote, and I quote:

I am not allowed to enter China.

I got off the plane from Japan after convincing the ladies that my visa was valid. They believed me. So clearly this visa shit is really confusing.

I have to go to Hong Kong because my visa is no longer valid and they can’t let me in to the Beijing embassy because I can’t go in the country. Unbelievable.

Took a plane to Hong Kong at 6 pm. Done.


To go into more detail, what happened was I was SO close to getting through the border, I woke up on time in the Tokyo airport, caught my plane out at 10:30 am, and made it back to Beijing shoudu guoji jichang. But then that horrible woman at the border looked at me and smirked and told me my visa was not valid. So I was like what. And then two and a half hours later, where I had tried and tried to convince people that it was still valid, all in Chinese by the way and in good Chinese at that, and very nearly succeeded, they flat out told me that I could not enter the country. I had no idea what to do. They said that I would have to go to Hong Kong or Tokyo, and as Hong Kong is both new and cheap, I chose there. They had me sign a waiver basically saying that since I was paying out of pocket, I was going to Hong Kong willingly and not by forced deportation. Technically it’s not even really a deportation, I was just refused entry (I have that big CANCELLED stamp on my visa now) but the thing is, if I had been discovered while IN China, I might very well have been charged with overstay and had to pay a fine. At least this way, my fine sort of went towards the flight to Hong Kong. And I’ve heard Hong Kong is incredible so…it’s not all bad.

They were really quite nice. The one female officer and the older male gentleman really did try to see my point of view. They each disappeared for a while, I’m guessing so that they could ask other people and see if my visa was still valid. I think they wanted me to be right but knew that I wasn’t. They respected that I could speak Chinese and that I’ve been in China once before. I can’t believe I let this happen, so irresponsible. So anyway, I bought a ticket for the 6 o’clock Air China flight to Hong Kong (holy crap I HATE Air China but what can I do?) and was soon on my way.


Japan: 1/29-1/31

January 29

I slept from 9:00 till noon and then got up and called McKensie (after we had a mixup about which exit I was at and she took a while to get there, sigh, I hate not having a cell phone here) and went to Sensoji temple as well as the Nakamise street, the shops directly in front of it. It was great, we had okonomiyake which is like this lettuce/egg dish that was just GREAT. And before that we had that cracker thing that she loves which is pretty much just a rice cake with flavoring on top but whatever. We also had this thing called a love bun (which is a little soft thing that has sweet soy/bean paste inside it and it was really quite delicious. I also had that other thing, the pancake thing with sweet red bean inside, which was pretty good. And then I had that red bean/soy bean paste in a little cube crepe thing, that was really good too. Both of the flavors reminded me of Taiyaki. Japanese people really love their red bean, and I have to say I do too. So we went to Sensoji and we went to the shrine itself which is where you throw in pennies and bow twice, clap twice, pray, and bow once more. I won’t say what I prayed for in case that jinxes it. 😛 But anyway so then we went to the table of water, I don’t know what else to call it, and we each took a spoon, poured ice water on our left hand, then our right, then poured some water in our left and drank from it (signifying purifying our hands and mouth) and then we tipped the water back so that it ran down the handle (MORE icy water YAY) so that it is purified for the next person. Overall very cool experience. McKensie says when the weather is warm she goes on runs down to Sensoji and prays every day. I think she’s a pantheist. Even though she’s close enough with her priest to text him on Saturday nights (which she seriously did) I guess she still prays to Buddha? I don’t get it but whatever. It’s similar to how she mentioned that she tries to never eat meat but then ends up being the one to convince ME to try the horsemeat sashimi. (?)

So then, still at Sensoji, we went and got our fortunes. There is basically a giant lidded pitcher with sticks inside that you shake around and then turn it over so that just one comes out in the hole that is in the lid. The stick has a number on it and that depends on which drawer you draw from. Oh yeah and you’re supposed to pay 100 yen in coins but I had change so I paid slightly less. Maybe that was why McKensie got the lucky fortune and I got the evil one, #52, the x in a box with no lid, and it said that I should avoid starting trips (ha too late) and that I will suffer. Thankfully you can reverse such fortune by folding it and tying it around the metal poles that look like drying racks.

Anyway so we were there and then so I was still feeling pretty tired so we decided that we would do hotpot the next day and went grocery shopping for it. I paid for half of the initial groceries like the sauce and mushrooms and stuff but then she paid for the tofu and fish since I paid for some of the groceries that were just going to be her normal shopping for the week. So anyway I am going over at 6:30 tomorrow and I will be eating homemade hot pot and hopefully doing what I can to help her cook it. J

Then we dropped off the groceries at her house and I went home to take a nap since I was SO freaking tired from sleeping just four hours every night, but in a GREAT way J


January 30

Went to Kando Myojin Temple, a shrine in Akihabara. Could not find the otaku district in Akihabara, too bad. I bout a cute little cat thing which to be totally honest was a lot cuter in the store haha. I have so many blisters on my feet from walking so much and getting lost (I’m pretty sure my map has confused the two subway stops, argh, so I was all turned around). Also in the morning I woke up at 6:30 to go Tsukiji fish market and had some really good fresh sushi in the morning. Then I walked to Ginza after trying to use my subway card on the bus and not having enough money, and then I walked around and tried to find that one theatre thing, the Imperial one, and I couldn’t. But I ended up having this good milk tea at a small place, not a Starbucks although I found one after the fact, and they have this thing called honey sugar which is like thick water colored syrup and it was good in the tea. I came back 1 pm because I am so tired and want to nap before going to Ueno at Mckensie’s so we can have homemade hotpot. Also on the way back to the apartment I bought these soft grey gloves to replace my current H&M ones where the left index finger has withered away at the top to only cover up to my second knuckle haha. I feel much classier now. Anyway I will now either take a nap or walk around a little bit locally. I plan on Kamakura tomorrow, need to ask McKensie if there is an easier way to get tickets than going all the way to the Kamakura station!

On a side note, the Japanese drive on the same side of the road as the British. Also, they are nothing like Chinese drivers. I haven’t heard one car horn. I haven’t almost been hit by a car even once. Everyone obeys the Please Don’t Walk signs to the letter, even if there don’t appear to be cars coming. It is oddly reminiscent of home.


So I went to Mackensie’s and we made hotpot. I cut up the carrots and those radish things, I cut the roots off them and we put them all in. She cut up the greens, spring onions, and fish. It was awesome, we put the sauce in last and then added a cup of water since we had too many ingredients. I found it quite delicious. Also funny was that her housemate Sakami was there and she spoke no English but had in fact studied Chinese in Taiwan for a year, so it was so funny, me and her speaking Chinese, me and Mackensie speaking English, and Mackensie and Sakami speaking Japanese! It was great, we were all guessing what each other would say, and the whole time I was thinking like, wow, my friends would think I’m SUCH a loser right now, but then I realized that this is who I am, this kind of nerdy stuff is what I love, and that’s okay. I had a language boner and no one can take that away from me LOL. After dinner I tried this German cookie that Japanese apparently love and it was quite good, more cake than cookie really. Also I ate some of her oranges, which were GREAT quality. We also put udon noodles in the soup too, to cook when we ate all the rest of it. I liked that she didn’t make me feel retarded at all, or take over what I was doing when I was cutting up the carrots and stuff, she was just really NICE about it. She had a male housemate there too who acted like he couldn’t speak English but in actuality he lived in Australia so his English was quite good.

Also, I have decided not to go to Kamakura because as it takes a whole day to get there, I wouldn’t want to cut my 5:25 PM flight too close. Instead, I have decided to go to an ONSEN. I think I’ll check out around 8 or 9, depending on when I wake up, and then I will buy some more souvenirs for people.


January 31

So I woke up early today at 8 AM and checked out pretty soon after. Good thing I packed the night before. After doing some more internet research I decided to go to the Tokyo Dome area, which is where the LaQua onsen and the amusement park are, as well as the Koishikawa Gardens (thank you English map for showing me that!).  I was meaning to go to Tokyo Dome anyway. LaQua is expensive, but a towel is included and so that takes away the issue of what I will do exactly about checking out by 11 AM (I was thinking about going to one of the cheaper onsens before 11AM so that I could borrow the hotel towel, but now that’s not an issue).

So basically I went and transferred twice, the last time to the Chuo line, and got to the Tokyo Dome area. I’m not too interested in baseball so I skipped the museum and dome itself, and I had some time to kill before the onsen opens at 11:00 AM, so I went to the Koishikawa garden. It was made by the Mito clan or some such thing and it was really beautiful, although I guess its peak point is usually summer when all the flowers bloom, and probably even more so from the sakura viewing festival in March-April. Anyway so I wandered around there, admired the little red bridge and looked at the little tiny bird through that giant telescope just there in the garden, and THEN went to the onsen.  Going inside for the first time, I had to take off my shoes and put them in a preliminary locker, and then proceed inward to talk over prices with the receptionist. She thankfully spoke a bit of English so that was good. I paid the 2500 yen version (holy COW) which meant that I had access to the fifth, sixth, and seventh floors. The sixth floor was the spa, and I went there to get my spa clothes (loose fitting pants and an orange shirt) and then was given a little wristband that would electronically open my locker. So yes, I put all my stuff in there and then naked walked into the onsen area. There were a bunch of pools and two saunas and also an open-air bath. I first went into the sauna and it was nice but my earrings seriously started burning the sides of my face and I had to get out. Then I went into the pool and found it still a little hot. You’re supposed to walk around with your little towel in front of your body to hide your lady parts, but the women aren’t overly modest so neither was I. Then I went outside to the open air pool, which was by far my favorite, since my face could stay cool while the rest was warm. There was one outdoor pool however that I could actually not go into because it was so hot and I don’t like the feeling of melting flesh. Therefore in any case, when I went back into the locker room and put on my spa clothes, I then went downstairs to the fifth floor where there were just a bunch of comfy lean back chairs with TVs in front and not even headphones, it was the tops of the chairs that were loud enough for your ears to hear fine but not loud enough for anyone else to hear it. There is the option to order food directly from the chairs as well although I didn’t because it was already a huge expense. Then I went back to the 6th floor and blew my hair dry, oh yeah and we were supposed to shower ourselves before going in the pools so I did that, and was impressed with the quality of the shampoo and conditioner, my hair still feels quite nice. In any case so I left the onsen and wanted to use my coins so I bought a coffee and a mapo doufu at the nearby restaurant, and just walked around admiring the amusement park rides and the carousel and other buildings. Afterwards, I went to the airport at around 2 PM, all prepared to get back to China and resume studying for my FSOT.

And that’s when Buddha’s fortune started kicking in.